TELL TALE SIGNS OF A "SPENDAHOLIC"

All of us go over our budget occasionally. But when overspending becomes chronic, it’s time to ask yourself whether you or your spouse has become a spendaholic. Here are ten questions to ask yourself:
1. Do you or your spouse go on shopping binges and neglect to enter each check as it is written?
2. Has either of you bounced a number of checks within the last three months?
3. Do you have to carry your credit card balances over from month to month?
4. Do you or your spouse hide large purchases?
5. Are you paying late fees for past due loans?
6. Do you and your spouse have more than four credit cards? Are you maxed out on any of them?
7. Do you or your spouse borrow to buy luxury items or to take expensive vacations?
8. Do you “rob from Peter to pay Paul,” putting off some creditors so you can pay others?
9. Have you consolidated your debts to lower your monthly payments only to increase your debt load later?
10. Are you using the equity in your home to make routine purchases?

If you suspect that you or your spouse is a spendaholic, it’s important to realize the behavior may be more than a bad habit; it may be an addiction. Spending money can give the shopper a euphoric high, an adrenalin rush, much like alcohol or drugs. It’s a form of self-validation that feels empowering. It’s only later, when the bills are due or past due, and when arguments erupt within the house, that the true nature of the problem becomes apparent.

If that’s the situation in your home, you’re not alone. Millions of American families are living beyond their means and discovering the hard way that money makes a wonderful servant but a terrible master.

As Saint Paul warned in his letter to Timothy, “For the love of money is the root of all evils, and some people in their desire for it have strayed from the faith and have pierced themselves with many pains. But you, man of God, avoid all this. Instead, pursue righteousness, devotion, faith, love, patience, and gentleness.” (1 Timothy: 10,11)

The good news is that help is available through local chapters of 12-step groups such as Debtors Anonymous and Shoppers Anonymous.

Of course, it’s also possible that you are in a temporary budget crunch and looking for simple ways to take control of your family finances. If that’s the case, you and your spouse might benefit by taking the following steps.

First, sign up for automatic bill payment services to pay your regular monthly bills, such as telephone, gas, electric, water, garbage and mortgage invoices. You’ll be less likely to spend money that you don’t have. You’ll also eliminate check-writing hassles, avoid late payment fees, save time and reduce postage costs.

Second, prepare a shopping list before you go to the store in order to avoid impulse purchases. Print coupons on your favorite brands. Get the CouponBar and save. The free, downloadable coupons could save you more than $1,000 a year. Leave your credit cards at home; instead, use your checkbook so you’ll have a record of your purchases. Avoid using ATM machines that charge you to gain access to your own shopping funds.

Third, take advantage of all the eligible tax breaks. If your company has a tax-favored 401(k) plan or Medical Savings Account, arrange to have the funds automatically deducted from your paycheck. Again, you’re less tempted to spend money you don’t see.

Fourth, check your credit report for errors. Your credit score is based on the information included in your credit report, so it pays to review it for inaccuracies. Federal law entitles you to a free copy of your report once every 12 months from each of the three major credit bureaus. Your credit score is also available for an additional charge. Simply go to www.annualcreditreport.com or call 877-322-8228.

Fifth, consider buying budgeting software such as Quicken or Microsoft Money.

Comments

[Pappy]

My sister-in-law works for a good company for the last 20 years, and though she has no college degree, makes 66k a year. Not rich, but very sufficient considering they have no children. Problem?.She owes more than 80k in credit card and other high-interest unsecured debt. My brother is in his early 60's with health problems but is forced to work just to try and pay the regular bills. Their regular credit is ruined, because the same sis'n-law regularily "chooses" not to pay her debts, because she's just "mad"and/or wants to spend the money on more frivolity.

Her last marriage was to a guy she claimed was "too lazy". I suspect he wasn't going to work extra to pay-off her crap time and time again and finally had enough. My brother is being treated like a doormat yet makes excuses, like the spouse of a drunk. They don't have a house, are living on borrowed time in a relatives broken down trailer (an inheritance the relative needs to sell), and are constantly harrassed by bill collectors. The sisn'law explored Chapter 7 but no way with her income. Chapter 13 is all she can do but they'd have to give up a small piece of property my brother planned to build their home on.

They should be able to live comfortably in our area on what she makes BUT she continues to Ebay, throw their money away. She refuses to go to credit counseling, feins illness (Hypercondriac) to gain sympathy, and pitches major tantrums when anyone even mentions their OWN savings plans. I for the life of me can't understand why my brother, a frugile individual, puts up with the abuse he suffers. BUT it doesn't stop there. Because of her craziness, my brother is unable (and unwilling) to assist me with our dementia-patient mother. I was forced to quit work to take care of her 24/7 and am having to juggle the basics on her fixed income. I'm not proud but thankful we get food stamps/EBT atleast as the other social services are poor to non-existent in this area. Rest home beds for Alzheimer's patients have a 18 month to 2-year waiting list in even the modest facilities. The work-at-home schemes have proven to be just that. Elder day-care is an expensive part-time joke and home sitters have proven to be a nightmare three times in a row. Mom makes just enough not to qualify for spousal veteran benefits too as I could've received a few hundred a month from that program. Because I've had to go over budget just for the basics (lights, gas heat), checks have bounced, accounts have been closed, and bank fees have taken a huge chunk of the bottom line. If I don't pay all the checks off in a timely manner, my "reward" for being the good son and staying home could be jail and who would take of Mom then? My brother is the only family left and he's incapacitated with his wife's craziness.

If it were me in my brother's place, I'd have given his wife the "Get help OR I'm Gone" ultimatum years ago. She's nearly spent her entire 401k plan and and already gone thru his entire payout from a former job. Her self-centered destructive behavior has effected everyone. When is it time for everyone to walk away and let her hit bottom?

Ohm btw, her father was an alchoholic who couldn't hold a job. Her mother kept him aroundin spite of giving the family furniture away in trade for a bottle. Now, everyone of the children has some sort of addiction as well. One sister is a gambler living on welfare. Another is a food addict (400 lb glutton), and the brother is a sex addict. AND, ofccourse, my sister-in-law claims "rich people are in debt too" as her excuse to buy all sorts of pure-T crap. Boy, did my brother marry into a bunch of loons eh?

Sorry to be so long-winded, but I wanted
to share how spending addictions hurt those far beyond the immeadiate family.

[bob larranaga]

One person who is coping with a spendaholic forwarded this observation: the spender seems to go through manic phases where she visits dozens of stores in one or two days, spending a "little" in each store so that no one purchase sets off alarms. Each of these impulse purchases may be a small percentage of the monthly budget – until you add them all up. So don't wait for the monthly bank statement to monitor the spending. Sign up for online banking and monitor spending frequently. Also, that household has seen some improvement in their personal finances after replacing a monthly household budget with a weekly one. It seems to help because the over-spending is usually nipped in the bud when the budget is reviewed on the weekend. Also, the spendaholic seems to have an easier time dealing with the smaller total available in a weekly budget. Apparently, the larger monthly amounts create the false impression that any one impulse purchase is a small amount of the household budget. But when the household has a weekly budget, those "small" impulse purchases suddenly become a bigger percentage of the total available that week. After reviewing her purchases, the spendaholic decided to join a local chapter of Debtors Anonymous. In the final analysis, the spendaholic has to be willing to change.

[Brother-in-law of a spendaholic]

I hope someone has contacted the above poster to offer some help. But, I do appreciate his despair. Although the Bible of course offers guidance, I believe it guides us to confront agressively this kind of addiction. My brother has never forced his wife to deal with it, except for measures to keep them in a house etc., but I see the addiction being taught to their daughters. No work ethic, just spend. It's gone on for years and years. Thankfully they can afford it, but the daughters can't. The well is going to run dry one of these days. I'm the younger brother. When my brother dies, I'm afraid I'll be left with a train wreck of a family, looking for me to provide some more "family" money.

[SpouseOfASpendaholic]

Yeah, well how do you deal with a spouse who is a compulsive spendaholic? It is nice when they're willing to deal with their problem, but when they totally refuse to acknoledge that they are simply addicted to spending, well.. I see no hope.